looking at you is like sitting by the sea; they say i have met you but how will i ever know? 

"smell her" sister urges me; "i am not sure if i am feeling anything" i say. 

"you love her" she declares; "i feel hopeful and excited and scared and detached; and i could erase you if i saw you hurting her. is that what you mean?" i ask. 

"that's what i mean and more. we are all forever changed now that she exists. and plus, you are not detached from her; you turn cold when you don't care. your cheeks are glowing with the love you are trying to undefine. it's fascinating how well you can love, and how ignorant you are towards your ability." 

you are my niece; i will let you teach me what that means.  

confessions full of jack

i feel like running away whenever someone evokes emotion within me.
the shadows of reality - books, songs, photos, movies, paintings- are easier to handle.

confessions full of jack

i am very lucky; even through my darkest days there has always been someone to offer me kindness and affection. not that i have been smart enough to let them in most of the time, but i knew they were within my reach. 

i have been told i am so easily loved because i so easily love. i have several objections to that theory, but it is a theory i can live with; there are much worse things people have thought about me.

confessions full of jack

telling me to hurry up is like telling a cat to stop sleeping.

confessions full of jack

i have no problems with destroying my history if it will help me build a better future.

confessions full of jack

i love hooded capes; i own many hoodies. once i have proven my worth to myself (i don't have high expectations as you might assume, i merely want to be a functional, decent, consistent human being) i will acquire a hooded cape and use it as my winter coat. it will have a secret pocket for my personal stash of lollipops.